10 Things That Annoy Me About The English Language

Even though I feel like I have a decent grasp of our language, there are many things that just plain annoy me about English.

Here, in no particular order, are 10 things about the English language that drive me batty.

DOES THE INTERNET OWE YOU A LIVING?

I had the good fortune to attend a talk given by Jaron Lanier, the author and innovative digital thinker, at SFAI the other week. In between blowing on a succession of weird and wonderful ethnic instruments, he gave a fascinating talk about the theory behind his new book, Who Owns The Future?.

Doug In The Frame

We’ve got a talented bunch here at Godfrey Q and Partners, and we’re always happy to celebrate their individual passions. With that in mind, we’re delighted to be featuring the photography of our esteemed IT Manager, Doug Frost, on the walls of the agency

A Fountain of Creativity

Writing with a fountain pen has been around since the 1800’s. It can easily be both a meditative and creative activity allowing your mind to drift free of the monotonous daily tasks.

Shuffleboard: “Mr. Finesse” vs. “The Distracter”

The Distracter brought every ounce of charm possible, but Mr. Finesse channeled his inner Santa Barbara frat boy and The Distracter never really stood a chance.

Shuffleboard: Match 1

Match one: Mark “the Fast-Sliding Englishman” Blanchard vs. Ashley “the Crusher” Cornil. What a match!

Consumer Wars

Before getting my feet wet in advertising, I spent many years peddling consumer electronics for a large consumer electronics company

My Best Friend

Oh, Motorola E815, how I miss thee.

Shuffle on a Board

The game? Shuffleboard. No, not the shuffleboard your grandparents play on cruises and in retirement communities. The version I am referring to can be found in dive bars across the country

Now Hiring _________

Explaining to people “not in the business” what you do for a living is a challenge.

The Effective Use of Humor in Advertising Messaging and Global Warming Prognostication

Humor is a tool. Think of it as a hammer—no, make that a nail gun!

My Facebook Detox: 10 Observed Symptoms

Generally, I’m the sort of person who hates addictions (let’s put caffeine to one side for the sake of argument). I consider them to be pointless, time-wasting, and ultimately demeaning.

Hipsters: Defined and Sold

I’m not going to go about trying to explain to you the many traits or trends considered signs of a hipster because some hipster sitting in the ferry building on his MacBook air already beat me to the punch.

Vector Artwork

The incorrect use of logo artwork and more commonly, oversight on low-resolution artwork are the bane of professionalism, especially in the creative industries.

There will always be coffee

Black magic. Liquid crack. Java. Or simply: the great motivator. All around the globe, people look to beat back the nature of the dreaded AM. The ad agency is no different. In fact, it’s safe to say that our shop runs on coffee.

Occupy's big-ass branding problem

If anyone has to make a definitive list of 2011’s People of the Year, the Occupy Movement would have to feature high on it.

“Bring us great ideas. But, please: NO ADVERTISING.”

A theme is showing up in RFPs and briefings with increasing frequency: “Audiences aren’t that into advertising anymore.”

Why are we so bad at selling ourselves?

The recent toe-curling self-promotional rap film from Sapient Nitro has traveled ‘round the business like wildfire: “Working hard day and night and coming up with big things” is just a sample of the lyrical flow that won’t be giving Eminem any sleepless nights.

Brit Madmen vs. American Madmen – Eight differences

As an English Alien of Extraordinary Ability who’s worked in a couple of San Francisco agencies over the last few months, I thought it was a timely moment to record my observations on some of the cultural differences.

7 lessons I learned as an intern and what you should learn from them

Hopefully some of these lessons give you some insight into what you can expect when you land that first big magical internship and some best practices for making the most out of it.

Stay Creative

Your results may vary, but here are a few ways that outside writing projects enhanced my day-to-day skill set

Your eyes can tell you if you’re at risk for
diabetes or a stroke.

People are three times as likely to see an eye doctor than a general practitioner.

That makes sense to me, since it’s the rare optometrist appointment where you’re going to have to disrobe. Or get lectured about your bad habits. Or both.

The misconceptions of China's Internet and its users

Some might be under the mistaken impression that China’s Internet landscape is a rigid maze of red-taped barriers filled with dutiful automotons, constantly toeing the party line. While it is true that Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and numerous other western sites are blocked here, China’s Internet community is as vibrant as it is large (450+ million).

What the Chinese government demands of content hosted in China, licensing types, and figuring out if your company needs an ICP license.

Every year, our team in Asia develops and distributes dozens of websites and applications for various markets around the Asia Pacific region. Most of the time, the online materials we produce are created in English before being translated into other languages.

The biggest threat to a small business will come through its computers

I was shocked when I learned that small businesses are more at risk from cyberattacks than they are from all other forms of loss. Combined. Fire, flood, armed robbery, locusts, rogue mimes, Jay Leno…each of them is odious, but even in the aggregate they represent less risk than the losses that can result from inadequately protected systems.